Top 13 Cel3b DOuche BaGs

Top 13 Celebrity Douche Bags


1. Kanye West

By far biggest celebrity douche. Kanye West is one of the most blantantly dumb celebrities in the music scene, but he is a great producer/artist and keeps turning out number one single after number one single. Kanye likes to kiss ass at MTV and then bitch about MTV, all the while claiming that everyone on the face of the earth is racist and trying to keep Kanye down.

2. George W Bush

No explanation needed... The lost years: 2000-2008



3. Chris Brown

This is not going to be his year, I don't know how you get back on top of the game when your getting accused of beating your exes ass

4. Simon Cowell, and anyone on American Idol

This Show is annoying, so is Simon it's and getting REALLY old and repeative, same problem different people.

5. A-Rod and Baseball

This lying about taking steroids crap is getting so lame. There is no honesty in baseball.

6. Paris Hilton

She is the epitome of a dumb blonde bitch... She is so influential in American society it's that this woman got famous do partying WTF?


7. P. Diddy
The most confident for no reason douche bag in the game he sells more Sean John clothes than albums and the Badboy record label gonna suck without Danity Kane. He is cocky he needs a reality check.

8. Hillary Clinton

What a C.U.N.T.

Catty, Ugly, Nasty, Troll

http://f-ckingc-nts.com/politics/drop-out-of-the-race-already-hillary/

9. Tyra Banks

She was hot. But that damn forehead. I liked Tyra Banks better back when she wasn’t saying shit. Now all of the sudden she’s the new Oprah. Personally, I am of the opinion that one Oprah was already one too many. Tyra Banks has two shows on TV in which she dispenses bad advice to desperate girls and woman despite being crazier than a crackhouse rat.

10. Dane Cook

He is probably the best reason not to equate MySpace stardom with actual stardom. He is perhaps best known as a “comedian” that steals jokes from other comedians, then goes out of his way to make them unfunny. Dane Cook’s greatest contribution has been to introduce a new way to flip people off to his fellow frat boy douchebags that constitute his fan base including me...

11. Kim Kardashian

She is hot but, a cry baby back bitch! The Keep up with Kardashians show she is on is a freakin' joke and she's incredible spoiled.

12. Bill O'Reilly

He is a popular conservative commentator (at least he was until he acknowledged that he was skeptical of the Bush administration because of the failure to find Weapons of Mass Destruction - this has caused him to fall in respect among True Believers). Unfortunately, it appears that he may have a very strong anti-immigrant and anti-Hispanic disposition.

13. Tom Cruise

No Explaination needed



Generation Y is harder to define,but not to rationalize.
I'm Derrick aka Journalismkidd "Voice for the Underground Bitches" :P

TYPES of DRiNK3RS

Underaged Drinking, well in college it's going to happen, especially in a school like MOBAP where you have to create your own fun. I don't condone it haha but, I have to acknowledge that it exist especially with the the rampid and hilarious drama and/or antics that occur while people are wasted. There are many reasons people drink, someone even said "they do it to get through the day, because hell it's MOBAP." There also a vast variety of ways people react or act when under the influence of alcohol. If your a college drinker you probably fall under one of these ten catergories haha and maybe if your a real badass you've fallen into each one of the catergories in a single weekend...

The Depressed/Suicidal Drinker: Your life is in a state of so-called "crisis", at least that's what you believe because your trashed. Maybe you've recently been dumped via Facebook, been blamed for stealing from the dorms, owe your friends over 500$ in back rent, or maybe you just failed an exam for a class you though you would ace. Your sensitive as hell, shit if your a guy you probably cry and blackout and if your a chick you probably do the same accept with more witnesses. Key Motivation: Nothing feels that bad when you have Smirnoff running through your veins.

The Relaxer: Your favorite phrases are " I just wanna get loose" or " I'm only buzzed". You usually work really hard and spread out your drinks so you don't get too wasted. You can be a douche bag and make fun of your plastered friends. your usually really busy even on weekends with an hectic schedule from sports, a shitty job to crazy roommates who never do dishes and invite over the univited. Alot of the time your either too busy to drink or too broke. Key Motivation: To escape the madness, to chill, to make fun of toasted friends.

Party Boy/Girl: Dollar pitchers on Mondays, Body shots on Tuesday. Tiki Wednesdays, Thirsty Thursdays, House party Fridays, Tailgates on Saturdays, and just because there is no school Sundays. You might be an alcoholic or just have a drinking problem, but you defintly drink entirely too much. You drink for fun, damn you can't have fun without it. Key Motivation: Not to remember Thursday through Monday and have fun!

The Bonding Bro: You are really annoying. Your favorite phrases are "Bro." and "I love you, man". You are really touchy feely with friends and tell life stories and cry and talk about philosphical shit when trashed. yo constantly embrace friends and remind them how much you love them and how wasted you are. You binge drink and your the king of the keggars. Key Motivation: Alcohol is the rope that ties everyone together, and you freakin' love your homeboys "no homo".

The Conformist/The Fake Drinker: Your annoying too. You either drink because everyone else is or you act drunk from two beers. You volunteer to be the designated driver at slamming parties, your a follwer. You figure everyone else is doing power hour, why not you? That's what college is about, getting trashed with friends? Key Motivations: Hey everyone else is, why the hell not?/ I can't get too trashed.

The "Slut": Again for the record guys can be sluts too, it's just less common. The slut is usually single or in a emotionally fucked up relationship.They drink for freedom, to drop inhabitions, and for attention. The slut looses all shame after the first shot. The slut kisses random people and usually by the end of the night has a make out partner, cuddle buddy, or hook up friend. The sluts tend to be self absorbed and drink to cover up insecurities. Key Motivations: To get rid of inhabitions and pesky morals, You think drinking gives you the right to be a whore.

The Binger: Drinks whenever there are large groups of people around (house parties, tailgates, bars, clubs, at home with his 6 roommates... that's why he has 6 roommates) He drinks ridiculous amounts of liquor and has constant mood swings because of the large amounts consumed. The binger can go weeks without drinking and then down a fifth of Jose with no problem. Key Motivation: Everyone loves everyone so much more when liquor is involved. And You party hard.

The Boredom Drinker: Your kinda funny, you drink by yourself while some of your friends are getting wasted at a keg party. You like drinking alone no one can take advantage of you and you like it quiet. Or you may have a 30 minute break between class and decide to get jacked up on diet Mountain Dew. Key Motivation: Booze passes the time and watching TBS with some Jack Daniels sounds more fun to you than getting into a drunken fight at a bar.

The "Douche" bag: You think your bad ass, but you really cannot handle your liquor. As a result of you escapades alot can happen from puking to fighting, pissing yourself or pissing on others. Your favorite phrases include " Look how much I can drink bro.", "I dare you to fight me I'm schwasted.", "Watch me chug this shit bro, beer bong". You think your macho, but you have the liquor tolerance of a 12 year old anorexic girl. Key Motivation: A definite need for attention, the urge to prove that you can drink more vodka and beer than anyone around.

The Alcoholic: Yolu have a problem, you drink for fun, you drink when upset and if your not wasted you feel like theres a problem. You lost all control of their drinking habits. Since the drink has become a drug, or a medication to pain, it can become highly addictive. Drinking interfers with with your life and theres nothing funny about your problem at all.

Generation Y is harder to define,but not to rationalize.
I'm Derrick aka Journalismkidd "Voice for the Underground Bitches" :P

U kN0w Yu'R3 @ mObAp...

"WELCOME 2 MOBAP"

YOU know you're @ Missouri Baptist University student when...

1. The highlight of your "school" day is Chapel

2. You know the names of over half your gradutaing class

3. You have an assigned table @ lunch based on your sport or activity

4. You've given the eViL eye to the "mean" douche bag security guard not the "nice" one

5. You skip one class to write a paper for another

6. You have the inate ability to turn any innocent game or actvity n2 a drinking game

7. You're jealous of Lindenwood, but probably would never admit it outloud

8. You will never forget your cellphone/but can't remeber paper 4 class

9. You get depressed when u walk into the weight room

10. You get even more depressed when u walk in the gym

11. You save number's in yo phone like Religious Riley, Slutty Sarah and Alcohol Guy

12. You avoid the Perk unless Salzer is singing @ OpEn Mic

13. You got jacked up on Mountain Dew or Diet Dew (at least once)

14. You've stolen food 4rm the cafe, had food stolen 4rm the cafe or have seen food stolen 4rm the cafe

15. You tell People about Your school they say "Huh? Say that again? What is THAT?"

16. You've never gotten lost on campus

17. You get highly annoyed by Dr. Chambers and have observed how tight those buttons are on his stomach.

18. The lunchroom is also a multipurpose room and lounge

19. You can count the number of normal coples on one hand

20. You have to drive off campus to practice

21. Your teacher brings in their sick kids for students to babysit
22. The guest speaker at Chapel asks if he is speaking to the senior class and the president replies that it is the whole school
23. "remember whens" are your specialty
24. You wish your tour guide/ and recuiter was honest

25. You don't date anyone from your school because you already feel related

26. You thought it was a joke when they said we don't believe in dancing

Generation Y is harder to define,but not to rationalize.
I'm Derrick aka Journalismkidd "Voice for the Underground Bitches" :P

mOBap R3LAtiOnShiPs

I am no relationship expert to say the LEAST ( going through some shakiness right now anyway nuff said), but I have observed the relationships that occur at MoBap. I've yet to see a healthy one or one that seems even close to normal. It's like drama left and right and some how with my big ass mouth I seem to get involved or if I don't comment people say I'm not acting myself or that I'm being fake or distant (but, thats a Whole other story). Well, most of these relationships end up being but of jokes or just so ridiculous that others become infatuted with the dumbfounded lovers next move or even a school legend that you can never live down i.e. "sex in the woods on the first day of school." At Missouri Baptist University you're living in a fish tank especially when in a relationship. Know that at Missouri Baptist you will be judged, people will stare, and don't you dare have any overlapping body parts because you maybe reported our dicsiplined by the staff. I know it's worse than high school everyone knows everyone, they know what your doing and who. As my friend Anton would say "WeLcoMe 2 mOBap". It's kinda sad but, at the sametime so entertaining.

Heres Some of the kinda fuckd up Relationships that roam this campus:

And I'm not gonna name drop which was suggested but I will tag u haha you know who u r

1. The "UnDerCoVer LoVers": To me this one is the most pathetic. No not pathetic... sad. I know you guys don't want anyone in your business and y'all try to act real discreet or sometimes you'll even have the audacity to say "We're just friends" when in all reality everyone knows "Y'all just fuckin". It's cool though I would probably wanna be undercover too if I had a realtionship with someone @ MoBap. Just know we know ;)

2. The "DrAmA FiLLed". This relationship is the most entertaining and just happens to occur most @ our lovely university. It usually happens with theres inter sport realtionships. Why a wrestlergirl would wanna date a wrestlerguy is beyond me... y'all could suplex each other jk or a volleyball guy and a volleyball girl wtf? are y'all gonna do each others nails jk ;)...m And most the drama occurs when one or more in the relationship are intoxicated. It's sad yet so funny. The "drama filled" usually tells everyone their business and seeks counsel from me and other friends. And if they get paranoid, they intrapt friends and use them as spies. These break ups are the worse and can divide teams haha are lunch tables. :P

3. "The Slut". Just to start off guys can be sluts too but less common. Well, some say it's hard to be a slut @ MoBap but its not as hard as you think. Every team has one one. Here are some signs of a slut: A. Sex in Public (woods) B. Sex first day you meet someone C. Sex with more than one person in a week. D. If you have a STD or every had a STD (mat herpes doesn't count) E. You have taken plan b more than twice. F. You don't know anyone sluttier than you.

4. "ThE CLiNgY & ThE PLaYa" This happens sometimes. I rarely see it but, I heard it runs rampid with the basketball players. It's usually a guy (sometimes a girl) who just wants to have fun, usually lookin' 4 sex or just an f-buddy and then they meet the clingy, usually a virgin or just very insecure thinking they can meet no one else. In the end the Playa becomes know as an asshole and the Clingy as Phsyco. hahaha shit hapens :D

5. "Normal Realtionship" Hahhah doesn't exist... wait Shamaine and Woody. Well Woody just transfered this semester so It don't count....

MoBap relationships are wacked, but hey so is are school... have fun

Generation Y is harder to define,but not to rationalize.
I'm Derrick aka Journalismkidd "Voice for the Underground Bitches" :P